Saturday, January 9, 2010

Magic Planeswalkers: American Idol Style

Submitted by special guest consultant, Paul Abdula.

Every January for roughly a decade, the counrty get hooked on the phenomena of American Idol, and while I'm no Ryan Seacrest, I think it's about time the superstars of Magic get in on the act. Our judges scoured the multiverse for the brightest Planeswalker talent to be found in 2009. In order to qualify for the Hollywood portion of the contest, these planeswalkers had to make it through rigorous rounds with the R&D judges, and get selected for the 2009 year.

Now it's your turn America, to see what these Planeswalkers bring to the big stage, and decide for whom the spotlight shines. Lets meet our Contestants, and their round one results;

Ajani Goldmane [ 13 ]  [18.06%]
Chandra Ablaze [ 5 ]  [6.94%]
Chandra Nalaar [ 6 ]  [8.33%]
Garruk Wildspeaker [ 12 ]  [16.67%]
Jace Beleren [ 13 ]  [18.06%]
Liliana Vess [ 5 ]  [6.94%]
Nicol Bolas [ 7 ]  [9.72%]
Nissa Revane [ 4 ]  [5.56%]
Sorin Markov [ 7 ]  [9.72%] 
 It looks like what America's Magic players really want in a planes walker is a Y chromisone nestled in next to their spark. Round one said good bye to all the ladies. Round one was alos not kind to our oldest contestants.

Planeswalker, Elder Dragon, Tyrant of Worlds! Nicol Bolas is one of the oldest known beings in the Multiverse—he has lived for at least ten millennia. Nicol Bolas has survived multiple wars, cataclysms, and rivalries: the dragon war that left only five of the elders alive, the destruction of his Madaran Empire on Dominaria at the hands of Tetsuo Umezawa, and epic duels with the planeswalkers Leshrac and Teferi. He also survived The Mending, the healing of the Multiverse that changed the very nature of the spark and cost several planeswalkers their lives. Before The Mending, planeswalkers were ageless shapeshifters whose power was limited only by their experience and knowledge. Bolas had that godlike power torn away from him, and he will go to any lengths to get it back.
He has watched the five shards of Alara for decades,but it will take countless machinations and maneuverings, even for the oldest and most powerful planeswalker of all. For Nicol Bolas, all the power in the Multiverse is not enough. Perhaps his apparent defeat at the hands of Ajani Goldmane is simply too fresh in our minds to allow him to fair well in this contest, despite his raw power and experience.

Our other old timer for the event is Sorin, who as a undead vampire, is hard to put an age on. It is widely wispered though that he assisted in the capture of the Eldrazi, which makes him older then Taylor Hicks! With the exception of the elder dragon Nicol Bolas, the vampire Sorin Markov is older than all other planeswalkers described here—older than all of them combined. His multiple millennia have brought him detachment and easy confidence. Unlike Bolas, Sorin doesn't concern himself with gathering power or control. He is content to follow his whims, even when those whims are cruel or deadly. Sorin Markov is a vampire and a master of sangromancy, a dark corner of black mana specialization. With this blood magic he can drain the lifeforce of other beings, place curses on enemies, and even possess the minds of others. Sorin is well traveled and well heeled. Having seen hundreds of planes over thousands of years, he has become a sort of bon vivant, seeking novelty and new diversions. But despite his fundamentally hedonistic nature, Sorin does feel the pull of more lasting concerns, and over his long life this tendency has resulted in an arcane schedule of engagements and forays to far-flung planes. As a result Sorin is a busy man, planeswalking frequently to pursue concerns known only to him. Sorin always seems to have business elsewhere.

Will either of these old times survive to move on two round three, or will the prize be left for one of those young wiper-snappers? It's up to you America. Voting can be done here.

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