Thursday, October 15, 2009

Travel Division: Visit Jund

Aegis Holdings is proud to announce our latest extra-planar Casino Resort Community, in the exciting Jund district of Alara.

Folks this is absolutely the place to be if you are staying the weekend at our 5-star luxury resort, planning an eternity in one of our award winning condos, or just spending the evening on the casino floor, one of our fantastic restaurants, or taking in any of our heart stopping shows! Service is always our goal, with the largest goblin house staff in Alara, boasting a two to one guest ratio.

That’s right folks- the Maelstrom Pulse of this city unto itself, never sleeps. It has something for everyone 28 hours a day!

Our Resort and Condo towers feature spectacular views of the Dragonskull Summitt, daily tours of the Rootbound Crag, leaving every two hours, Shuttle service to the Verdant Catacombs available on request, and don’t forget to book your tee time with the Savage Lands 36 hole golf complex.

The kids will love our petting zoo, featuring wildlife from all over Alara, and recently added Putrid Leeches. Plated Geopede rides, available from 12-4 every afternoon.

The shopper in your party will find anything they want on the Jund Panarama level, with dozens of shops bringing the multiverse to you.

Check out the Bloodbraid Review nightly at 7 and 11, where there is always a surprise for the audience, and no two shows are ever the same. See it again and again, and it always feels like the first time. This show never fails to get a Resounding Thunder of applause from the audience, and praise from the critics.

The Sarkan Val celebrity restaurant features a variety of premium menu options, or the 28 hour buffet option, with taste varieties that you won’t find on Ravnica. No matter how you choose to devour it, no trip to Jund would be complete without trying one of the roast Thrinax entrees (that always comes with your choice of 3 sides). Don’t forget to save room for our award winning desserts, made fresh each day in Bantian style. They are Pyroclasmic!

So come by today, and get your piece of Jund! Don’t forget to ask for the Broodmate special package, and have a friend stay for no additional charge. You’re sure to have a Bituminous Blast!


Dartarus said...

Pretty funny - be funnier if you'd spelled half the card names right though. :-P

The_Magi said...

I think it adds to the creativity!

Jeff said...

Very well written, I lol'd. It feels like there's a decklist in there Phil? you gonna actually make a standard deck?

The_Magi said...

I pulled references from the Jund Agro decks featured at teh SCG Philly 5k. I am going to re-enter Standard, but I don't think it will be with a Jund deck.

Nick said...

I did enjoy this as well.